One Class Down

So this summer I have to take two master's classes to finish my certification for teaching early childhood. The first one I was not going to be taking because I was going to be home with James. Well, we all know that has changed, so I signed up to take the class because I need to get it done by a certain date and I just wanted to get it done and over with. This has been an extremely hard thing to do. I would sit in class and think about James the entire time and have a hard time staying focused or even motivated to do any of the work, but I pushed on and as of right now I have finished all of the work for class and tomorrow is the last class. A grad class all crammed into five short weeks! I can't even express how glad I am to be done with this class. The next one starts on Monday but it shouldn't be nearly as intense.

Also today was exactly three months since James was born and passed away. Today sucked big time!!!!!! But hears to hoping tomorrow is better. Waking up to hear William calling for mommy over the monitor is worth getting up for in the morning. Work is alright but a little stressful at the moment as we wait for the state assessors to drop in sometime this month to assess the classrooms. Life is normal for everyone and I guess for me as well (as normal as things will ever get for awhile). Mel, William, family and friends are what makes everything okay. Thanks to all of you for your support. I don't know where I would be without all of you!

Life Goes On

So it has been a little over 2 months since James passed away and life around me seems to be going along the same. Its strange how life can change so quickly. Just over two months ago we were excitedly awaiting the arrival of our second son. Now we are learning live with the fact that he is not here with us. It is strange going to the store even sometimes and just watching people going on with their lives and you are just thinking to yourself that they have no idea what has happened and it seems strange to be around "normal" life. My life is no longer the same and I am just learning to adapt to the new life that Mel, William and I have. There is a feeling of something missing no matter what you do. Days go on and we keep to a normal schedule for William and go to work and school each day and no one around us realizes that our life is not the same as it used to be. I know that I am and I'm sure that Mel is good at acting like everything is just fine when around other people but at the same time the mind is just wandering and not focusing on anything it needs to. I sit through class and just think about James and what I should be doing now. I should just be returning to work and not be taking class until July. But instead I have been back to work for two months and am taking class now. I know to anyone who is reading this my thoughts don't seem to flow together very well but that's just how they came out of my head tonight. Sorry if it confused you but I'm just writing my thoughts.