The year is almost to an end already. It seems like it just began. What a year it has been. I never want a year like it ever again. I lost three people in my family this year. My son, and both of my remaining grandparents. As the holidays draw closer I find myself torn between emotions. I am excited to be traveling to visit family this year that I haven't seen in three years, but at the same time it is not going to be a normal happy holiday trip. There will be a lot of sadness in this trip for me. This will be the first year attempting to celebrate without my dear little boy. I miss him lots and find myself thinking about him a lot recently. Not that I don't think about him all the time anyway, but something about this time of year that makes it more difficult. You are supposed to be happy and jolly this time of year. I find myself not feeling much of that right now. I feel a bit guilty because I do have a wonderful little boy at home to take care of and to give a wonderful Christmas to. I'm just glad his is still to young to understand what went on this year and also still too young to truly understand Christmas. Here's to hoping next year hold better things for our family! Merry Christmas.
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